Family and the Gift of Xmas
My usual family pattern is trauma and drama, with strong points of view about everything.
One says something the other does not like the other slams the phone down and does not speak for the next 3 days months or 3 years. I was talking to an Access Consciousness® facilitator about this. My question was how do I jump off this merry go round? Sometimes I feel like a fly pinned up against a wall of my family’s trauma and drama, their strong points of view coupled with being the eldest in a family of 5 siblings.
It can all get a bit wearing when we are locked into a pattern that we do not seem able to get out of. She suggested that my home-play could be “Interesting point of view, I have this point of view” or “Interesting point of view she or he has this point of view”. The first time I said it aloud when my mother was having a rant about something and she stopped and said “which part of what I said is interesting?” Ha ha, she stopped and I could get a breathing space in between and choose to say or do something different. For that split second she could stop and allow me some space.
When my husband has a strong, opinion or point of view about something I say this in my head interesting point of view he has this point of view. He carries on talking and then realises I have not jumped in and agreed or disagreed with him and then suspecting that I am “inhibiting” as he calls it he realises that nothing much is happening my end (except I am busy in my mind saying this) and he stops and we usually both end up laughing.
With my new found confidence I was in a shop when the sales assistant was strongly defending the benefits of having a red and blue car over a white one, including the scientific reports about having one colour over another.
Mentally I was saying Interesting point of view she has that point of view, until it eventually all fizzled out and the subject got changed to something neutral that we both could enjoy.
So, when your family are driving you up the wall with their opinions and their points of view, perhaps that is all it is? All, just an interesting point of view?
